Nice to see you!

Three major events occurred for me last year (2010), all in the space of about 2 weeks. I turned 50. The following day I got married. Two weeks later, my oldest daughter became pregnant with her first child and my first grandchild.

Most middle-aged people will tell you that in their minds, they still feel 20 something. It's the same for me.

Wasn't it only yesterday that I was planning a night out with guys from the surf club? That gorgeous new perm. Flaired, cuffed denims and the red t-shirt with the off-the-shoulder frill. Corked platform wedgies. **sigh**

Suddenly I'm looking in the mirror and wondering how 30 years can flash by so damned quickly!

So here I am in cyberspace, sharing my genuine shock and horror with anyone who'll listen and maybe I'll even meet some other over 50s who find themselves in the same predicament!

Welcome to my dilemna!!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Happy Birthday to ME ME ME!

Today, I get to cross off one of the fifty two things to do before I turn fifty two!  I enjoyed turning fifty one!

Adoring Husband already gave me Bob (the camera) for my birthday and so had fulfilled his husbandly birthday duties and then some!  However, upon my arrival home from the markets, he greeted me with a dozen red roses and a box of divinely delicious chocolates!

This was already much more than I expected and left me feeling very loved, but then there was a 'BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!' moment.

Tomorrow is our first wedding anniversary but Adoring Husband, unable to contain his need to bring me more joy, handed me two more gift wrapped boxes.  One long narrow red box with a bow and another that I guessed might be a soft cover book - perhaps on Photography I guessed to myself?

I opened the first box to find a beautiful long stemmed red rose to represent one year of marriage.

As I opened the second gift, I watched Adoring Husband's face as I did it.  He was like a little boy with the most amazing facial expressions, watching expectantly as I got closer to revealing the gift within.  I can't explain the joy I got from just watching his face.

Anyway, the traditional symbol for the first wedding anniversary is 'paper'.  Adoring Husband had beautifully gift wrapped a packet of A4 Glossy photograph paper and attached a note suggesting that I could use this paper to begin creating the photographic memories of our marriage.

If there is one thing I appreciate in life, it's a gift that has a lot of thought put into it and requires little cost.  It's even more special when it comes from Adoring Husband because it's a new concept for him and I am so impressed with his successful efforts to date.

At Christmas, for the first time ever, we gave each other a spending limit of $35.  To begin with, Adoring Husband was panic stricken and really struggled with the whole concept.

He eventually found the perfect gift, without any outside assistance - painted and carved timber trees that I could use for display stands for jewellery on my stalls.  I was ecstatic!

So, once again, my lovely man has made me feel special on my birthday and after lots of phone calls and lovely facebook messages from friends and family,  it has been a happy birthday for ME ME ME!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Excellence in Parenting (or lack of it).

After yesterday's effort at being non-creative, I had reason today, to question the 'fear of success' comment.

I've begun reading a blog called 'Single Dad Laughing' http://www.danoah.com/? and the first post that I read yesterday was called 'Worthless Teenagers and the Parents Who Make Them'.   

For a male, he is wise and perceptive.  I love the way he writes and I love the way he thinks.  He made me think about my efforts as a parent.  I responded to his most recent post today, and a part of my comment reads:

  • I shake my head in disbelief at how thoughtless and selfish I was as a parent of young  children and  teenagers and I shake my head in wonder at how well they are doing as adults despite my dreadful shortcomings.  I can't begin to imagine the limits they put on their own potential because of me.
*******

An intelligent human being with a bit of life experience behind them, will look at the way their parents raised them, recognise the magic and use it thoughtfully.  They will also recognise the mistakes and figure out a way to NOT make the same ones with their own children.

Parenting is more complex than you can ever imagine it is before you take on the role.  To even do an adequate job, it requires 100% dedication and commitment.  I certainly did NOT do that.

I was young and immature and selfish and if I could go back knowing what I know now, how different life would be for my kids.

There are lots of contributing factors to my inadequate parenting (too numerous to mention) and considering my many errors in judgement, my children became pretty amazing adults.

Thinking of all the defining moments in their lives, moments that I witnessed and those that I didn't, the decisions that they made at those times were, on the whole, the right decisions for them.

They didn't make any life destroying decisions.  They have made mistakes, which we all do, and they have learned from those mistakes and their characters have certainly been strengthened.

I wonder if, like me, they hold back.  I wonder if, like me, they find reasons or excuses to not do something amazing instead of believing all of the reasons why they SHOULD do something amazing.

I wonder if they have missed opportunities because I have passed on my emotional baggage to them.  Or worse!!  What if I have created NEW emotional baggage?!  Ugh!

Let me take this opportunity to tell my grown children ...

Early on, I certainly made life into a bit of an obstacle course for you and you have shown such strength of character to struggle your way through and over all the obstacles that I (and others) placed in your life path.

I apologise for passing on so much of my emotional baggage to you during your childhood.

I so hope that you can find even some small glimpses of magic in your experiences with me that you can use when raising your own kids.

I also hope that you don't make my mistakes, but make your own, be they small,  that you can apologise for in the future.

I think that taking all of my shortcomings and some of my terrible life decisions into consideration,  you guys have turned out to be pretty amazing human beings!

I am incredibly proud of you and I reckon that if you can survive the first sixteen years of your life with me, you can survive ANYTHING!!

So open your heart and your mind to all the potential that is yours and don't hold back!  I will love and support you and take pride in your achievements.  I will love and support you and give you a shoulder to cry on if it takes more than one try.

Please don't be afraid of more success.  Don't have regrets.

Most importantly, be happy.  Life is short and feeling your heart bursting with joy is something that you should be trying to experience on a regular basis.

If you are already doing all of these things, then my work is done!  What an excellent parent I have been and excuse me while I bask in the glory!

      

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Overwhelmed by my non-creativity

At some point over the past few months I was feeling creative, artistic and imaginative.  I believed that I could jump into the realms of the artistic world, and suddenly the juices would flow, my imagination would come alive and the universe would bow to my arty farty greatness!!


  • I have filled my jewellery making stocks almost to capacity.  
  • I now have in my possession, the camera to cause envy among the masses.  
  • I have the quality pastel pencils and top grade paper for my planned portrait extravaganza.  
  • I have a complete set of soft graphite pencils for amazing and awe inspiring sketches.


With all of these high hopes and promises (in my own mind) of genius brilliance, I have placed myself under so much pressure that my brain has drawn that big black curtain of dazed nothingness across my thought processes.

My head is now full of mashed potato with little pieces of chopped up raw onion - NO that's wrong because I LOVE mashed potato with little pieces of chopped up raw onion - so that would be a good thing!

My head is now full of .... nothing!

I am incapable of even deciding which of these artistic pursuits I want to tackle first!

I was told by somebody who knows me well, that I am afraid of success.  I don't think I am alone there.  I believe that many people are afraid of success ... and afraid of failure ... or just plain afraid.

So I guess my next task is to figure out how to dig myself out of this brain numbing nothingness and make a plan.  I think I need to create some kind of structure (which kind of goes against the whole essence of being artistic!).

If I was a bloke I could multi-task.  Males can do lots of things at once.  They don't do any of them well ... kind of like a Jack Of All Trades but Master Of None hehehe.  I bet Adoring Husband is seething at this comment hehehe.

I need to focus on one thing at a time.  I also need to do that one thing well.  Otherwise there is no point in doing it!

Even with housework.  If I don't have the time to do a chore perfectly OR if I'm not in the mood to do the chore perfectly, then I just won't do it at all!  It's all or nothing!

This is where my brain is at.  I am overwhelmed by my non-creativity.  I'm all flumozzled.  I think I just made that up.  Oh!  A creative moment!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Put a smile on my dial!

Could you ... would you ... go to this website and vote for my photo???

Here is the photo:


Here is the link to vote:


Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting a smile on my dial :o) 

Fifty two things to do before I turn fifty two!

I have been advised that anybody who reads my blog in a reader, can't see the side bar with my 'Fifty two things to do before I turn fifty two', so I have been requested to do a dedicated post for it.  Here goes:

  1. Make somebody smile every day.
  2. Enter the Canon EOS 5 competition.
  3. Watch 'Love Actually' on Christmas eve.
  4. Enjoy turning 51.
  5. Have a technology-free day.
  6. Go to a Broncos footy game.
  7. Host a lunch for the girls.
  8. Have a romantic candlelit dinner for two with Adoring Husband.
  9. Go out at dusk for a photographic trek.
  10. Get up at dawn for a photographic trek.
  11. Get a foot massage.
  12. Eat a purely vegan diet for a week.
  13. Enjoy every moment with Chicklet.
  14. Tell Adoring Husband every day, that I love him.
  15. Visit my BFF (2000 kms away)
  16. Create a website for either my jewellery or my photography.
  17. Learn to make vegan dumplings.
  18. Take my dogs to the free dog whisperer at the park.
  19. Get to the 2011 Childers Multi-cultural Festival.
  20. Go to a concert or a show.
  21. Keep DDD up-to-date.
  22. Watch the complete series of 'Friends'.
  23. Create a green smoothie habit four days a week.
  24. Complete three pastel portraits of friends.
  25. Go to the midnight screening of Breaking Dawn.
  26. Walk along the beach with the dogs once a week.
  27. Continue writing my blog.
  28. Practise and experiment with my camera
  29. Go whale watching.
  30. Write a letter to Nellie every month (and remember to post it).
  31. Make something for Chicklet.
  32. Try five new recipes from Vegan Chickie's blog.
  33. Give up ice cream for six months.
  34. Make a batch of soup for the boys on the 'Seat of Knowledge'.
  35. Have a picnic lunch by myself at the park.
  36. Create the necklace that BGWLBH asked for two years ago.
  37. Watch all of the Twilight movies in one day.
  38. Go beach exploring.
  39. Educate myself about frogs.
  40. Spend some time every week reading in my hammock.
  41. Plant more veggies in the garden.
  42. Invite five people outside my usual circle of friends for morning tea.
  43. Write a poem.
  44. Catch the bus into town and spend the day alone.
  45. Lose five kilos.
  46. Clean out the spare bedroom.
  47. Set up my jewellery stall at the Howard markets.
  48. Finish the big crocheted bed spread.
  49. Read the Macrobiotic book from cover to cover.
  50. Phone my sister monthly.
  51. Host a dinner party.
  52. Have my eyes tested and get some prescription reading glasses.
I will commence to check things off this list beginning 23rd April 2011, which is the day that I turn fifty one!!  The only real challenge here is to REMEMBER to do one thing off the list every week!!  

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Glory or Flame Lily

Gosh!  What a grey, wet old day it is today!

The rain stopped and sun shone just long enough this morning for me to jump on my trike and pedal down to the bakery for my morning coffee.

I squeezed in about forty minutes with the boys at 'The Seat of Knowledge' before I noticed those big black clouds scudding across the sky towards us, so I jumped back on my trike and headed for home.

There was a soft mist of rain to ride through for the last couple of minutes before I arrived home, but I made it home before the heavens opened up, yet again.

A good day for getting comfortable on the couch and watching movies, reading magazines, researching photographic competitions online, watching cooking shows or, as Adoring Husband is doing right now, falling asleep and shooting out some ZZZZZZZZs!

Cooking shows aren't always a good idea on the first day of a healthy lifestyle change ... especially when the subject is 'Desserts'.  I am drooling over a delicious looking Trifle and a Lemon Curd Tart at the moment.  Pure torture!

I made a frittata for lunch, with the leftover roasted vegetables from last night's dinner.  Very nice, but how I long for a big bowl of Granma's famous trifle (Yes Granma, you know who you are!  I know you are reading this!).

The other form of pure torture that I've suffered today was watching a Science Fiction movie that Adoring Husband was keen to see, called 'Skyline'.  My advice to you is DON'T BOTHER.

If you read my post on April 16th, where I showed a beautiful flower that I had discovered during my walk along the river, I accidentally came across it's name yesterday.

I was looking at somebody else's photo stream in Flickr (which is a website for photographers to display and share their photos), when I came across a photo of the same flower!

It was such a strange co-incidence, since both Adoring Husband and I had tried, unsuccessfully to find the flower online.

We googled it and discovered that it's the National Flower of Zimbabwe.  We also discovered that, as with so many of the most beautiful flowers and berries, it's highly toxic and regarded as a weed in Queensland!

I don't care.  I still love it!!  It's called a Glory Lily or a Flame Lily.

PS  Notice to the right, my 'Fifty two things to do before I turn fifty two'.  This begins on 23rd April!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Healthy living

So, I mentioned a couple of days ago that my life would be perfect if I could eat all of my favourite food in large quantities without it affecting my weight or my health.

The reason I said it was because THAT is exactly what I have been doing for a couple of months now and even though I haven't weighed myself, I can tell by my clothes that I have gained weight around my middle.

I have a couple of spare tyres.  They aren't too bad while I'm standing up, but when I sit down, they spread beautifully, filling out my clothes until they are stretched most unattractively around my mid section.

Today, I decided that it was time to do something about it and get back to my healthy eating and exercise plan.

The dreadful wet season that we've had in this part of the world has meant that my golf mornings and tennis evenings have been cancelled more often than not.

I haven't replaced them with any other form of exercise, even though I have a cross trainer, exercise bike, mini trampoline  and mini weights here in the house.

In the past I've used a web site called Calorie King to help me count my calories and diarise my exercise.  If any of you are interested, here is the link http://www.calorieking.com.au/ 

The reason that I count my calories is so that I can work out whether I can have the yummy treats at night!

I eat lots of fruit and vegetables and nuts and grains, but if I'm not careful, I can get a bit carried away with the cheeses, creamy sauces, potatoes, bread and chocolate.  If I count my calories, it actually psyches me out of eating those things!

I also know that I'm not eating well because I'm losing all of my energy by 2pm and needing a nap!

So today is the first day of the rest of my life!  I'm not going to mention my actual weight (because that's just plain embarrassing!), but I will update my weight loss  each week here on my blog and we will keep progress together.

According to all the weight charts, I need to lose about fifteen kgs, but I would like to lose ten.  I would like to lose these kgs by the 1st July, which is when I am travelling down south to visit my BFF.

Onward and upward ***raises hand in the air*** and May The Force Be With Me!!

 

Mother Nature's Miracles

I have spent so much time with my old and new photographs in the last couple of days, that I thought I might share some of them with you.

After doing the photography course last weekend, I am looking at them all with different eyes.  Some, that I thought were great photos, now look very ordinary and others just needed playing with to look better.

A little cropping here, a little straightening there and suddenly it's like a brand new photo!  I'm not a fan of photoshopping, so I left that program on my old computer.

Bob (the camera) came with it's own program for bringing a bit of happiness to a photo.  My aim, every time  I press the button, is to take a photo that doesn't require touching.  A photo with such good composition and clarity and colour that it can go straight from camera to computer to viewer and receive a perfectly positive response.

I know that there are photographers who have worked for years and still haven't fulfilled that dream, so I don't expect it to happen soon.  That doesn't mean that I won't stop trying!

Here are some sunsets from my part of the world.









Every sunrise and every sunset is different and they are never boring.  Even on a clear day, when the sun rises over the water or sets behind the trees, it still brings joy to the heart.  

I love to photograph people, animals, flowers and trees, landscapes and all things from nature, but sunrises and sunsets, they are Mother Nature's miracles and considering how angry she has been lately, we should be taking pleasure from her daily miracles.